Forever Trapped
by Timelessdemon
Summary: What if Jackson hadn't died, what if Aaron hadn't been able to take it and had phoned for help.  -How does Jackson cope living a life where he's not allowed control over anything... least of all, his own life.


**Wasn't too sure whether to upload this story or not, but... here it is anyway...**

**Plz read, enjoy and review, lol.**

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><p>Everyone wants control over their own lives, the freedom to make their own decision's, do basic tasks like washing up and shaving... without aid or control by someone else... Everyone wants that-who wouldn't? And people who can't have that... the control of their own lives... feel trapped and wish to be free.<p>

That was what Jackson had wished for, freedom...

Freedom from the frustration at not being able to 'do' hardly anything without help from someone else... Freedom from the constant fear of knowing he wouldn't be able to defend himself from anyone that might accidentally, or purposefully try to harm him... Freedom from the mental degration of having to have someone wash him, dress him and clean up after him when he needed the toilet.

Freedom was what he had asked for in the form of assisted suicide, but he guessed that was the last thing he'd get now...

Aaron apparently couldn't take the idea of losing him, he'd run from the house and phoned for an ambulance just seconds after Jackson had lost consiousness. The ambulance had quickly arrived at the house, Jackson rushed to hospital, the drugs miracously pumped out of his body, causing him to live once more- but for what kind of life...

Jackson had woken up, surrounded by nurses, telling him that he wouldn't be allowed to see Hazel or anyone else for the next few months. He would cared for within the hospital by special needs staff, while they spent time helping him get over his 'depression' and also deciding whether his mother's home was still an appropriate place for him to live.

It was terrifying being left in special needs- some idiot had even told that if he needed 'any' assistance he should press the emergency button near his bed, then rushed away too quickly for Jackson to tell the guy that being paralysed rendered him incapable of reaching said button.

Eventually they'd released him back to Hazel who said she'd 'never' allow herself to let him do something 'so stupid' again, and an Aaron who just silently stood there, staring as if he couldn't believe Jackson was still alive.

...As for the hospital attempting to curb Jackson's so-called depression, he was now prescribed with enough daily prozac to numb the one part of his body that actually still worked. But even with all the fuzziness, the emotional numbing that the pills caused...Hhe could still feel it, the want to move, to be able to look after himself... and the frustration of watching everyone around him taking everything for granted.

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><p>It was a warm day, Aaron and Hazel sat together on a metal park bench that looked out over to an open, but somewhat empty train station across the road from them.<p>

Aaron and Hazel sat, talking together and eating a portion of chips while Jackson sat 'still' in his chair, ignoring the both of them. "You want a chip Jackson?", Aaron finally asked. "No". came Jackson's short reply. Hazel sighed, "I told you if he doesn't wanna eat then he doesn't want to eat".

Aaron gave a bitter laugh, "Oh, great so we just let him starve himself to death?"

"We can't force him to eat-"

"If we don't the doctors will, do you seriously want him going into care again?"

"Well there's gotta be another way, we can't-"

Not bothering to take much notice of what they were actually saying, Jackson took this time to glance from them to the train station over the road, and back again, calculating whether he could actually make it before they noticed.

If he was fast maybe he'd make it there just before the another train did- the station looked mosty empty anyway, no sign of any wannabe heros today... Making up his mind that it was now or never, he tilted his head to the side, moving his chair slowly towards the train station, inwardly cringing everytime his chair made a scrapping sound on the floor. He drove recklessly across the road and over to where the open train station- and track- lay,

Still arguing with Aaron, Hazel half-glanced at Jackson before doing a double take, realising where he was, "Aaron!. She shouted as Jackson's chair grinded closer and closer towards the 5 foot drop to the tracks. Aaron yelled as he immediately jumped up and ran for Jackson, "Jackson stop!". Aaron ran- and grabbed the back of Jackson's wheelchair, forcing it to grind to a halt before it got anywhere near the tracks.

Aaron knew where Jackson had been heading though, they both did. Aaron caught his breath for a moment before forcefully turning Jackson's chair and pushing it back over to the bench, where Hazel and staring on-lookers had gathered.

Ignoring the looks they both received, Aaron glared a 'what-the-hell-where-you-thinking' look at Jackson.

"Oh, sorry! Jackson muttered sarcastically, not bothering to look him in the eye, "ma head musta slipped (!)".

Aaron stared, "No it didn't... What the fuck where you doing?". Jackson sighed, "What do you think?".

"We care about you... we all do!"

"You've got a funny way o showin it then, haven't yer?"

"Jackson we just want what's best for you..."

"Then why can't you just give me what 'I' want, you say you all care about me so much, then why can't you just let me do the one thing that'd make me happy". He glanced coldly over to his mother who sat tearfully watching him speak. He let out a sigh, "No mum, no more crying- i told you this is what I want, so why couldn't yer just let 'me' be happy for a change?"

"Come on love", Hazel said, smiling gently to Jackson as she almost tried to pretend as if she hadn't just heard her's own son's plea for death, "You're just tired is all... Let's go home".

Jackson glanced back towards the tracks and slowly shook his head, "No... You go... I wanna stay here". Aaron looked worried and shook his own head, "Jackson we can't leave you here... it's Tuesday, the doctor who report's to the social worker's... she'll wanna see yer...".

Jackson didn't reply, Aaron sighed, grabbing the back of the chair and slowly pushing the chair back home, "Sorry mate we gotta go".

"No...", Jackson coolly replied, tilting his head to try to make the chair turn back, Aaron reached down and wordlessly flipped the off the switch that allowed the chair movement. Jackson soon realised that he no longer had any control over the chair and, began to break down.

"No! I said I wanna stay here! ...Get the fuck off me! Get THE FUCK Off Me! ARGH!", Jackson repeatedly hit the back of his head against the back of his chair as his only means of retaliation. Passersby turned their heads to watch a physically and (from they percieved) mentally disabled guy violently scream out incoherent phrases as he was pushed through the streets and back home.

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><p><span>2 HOURS LATER:<span>

"D'yer want me to help you back on yer bed Jackson?" Aaron asked for the hundreth time, and for the hundreth time, Jackson said nothing, he just continued to coldly stare from his chair to the window ahead, ignoring them like they had ignored him.

Hazel came in with a mug of warm tea, she glanced between them, "Aren't you in bed yet? The doctor'll be coming round soon, she'll want to know how you're gettin on."

"You know how I'm gettin on...", Jackson muttered, still staring coldly out the window.

An awkard silence hit the room that was only broken by the ringing of the doorbell.

"Oh", Hazel smiled, trying to brighten the darkening atmosphere that now filled the room, "that must be her now- Hi there love come in...".

After a few minutes chat with Hazel, a smiling middle-aged female doctor came in.

"Hi there Jackson, how're you feeling today?", The doctor asked, standing next to Jackson who continued to ignore everyone, still staring depressively out of the window.

"Jackson?", Hazel called, "She asked you a question... ", Jackson still gave no inclination that he'd actually heard anyone.

The nurse glanced from Jackson to Hazel and back again, Is he taking his pills as normal?

Yeah, every morning, it'll just take time for him to get used to them I guess.

"Uh huh..." replied the doctor, she went to take Jackson's pulse but faltered as she grabbed his wrist, "I was going to mention this last week but, well... he's getting rather thin isn't he?".

Hazel's smile froze on her face, "Oh... is he, I er...", She glanced to Aaron for help but he offered none.

The doctor sighed, "Are you sure he's eating properly?".

"Yes!" Hazel said a little to quickly causing the nurse to give a quizzical look in responce, Hazel laughed uncomfortably before continuing, "Maybe the prozac's affecting his motivation to eat a little... but he's definetely still eating".

The doctor stared at the three of them, she knew something wasn't right, but she couldn't actually prove it unless... "Alright, well just for the record, could you get him to eat something while I'm here... just so we can know he's staying healthy.

"Yeah... sure", Hazel muttered uncomfortably she left the room for a minute and came back holding a plate of biscuits she'd laid out for the careworker's in front of Jackson's nose, "Oh, they all look very tempting, which one do you want Jackson?".

Jackson didn't answer and Aaron ended up picking out one for him, trying to ignore the suspicious looks the careworker and doctor gave at how unresponsive Jackson had acted the entire time they'd been there.

"Here you go Jackson"... Jackson merely blinked and stared blankly at the biscuit. "Come on Jackson", Aaron said a little too nicely, "You gotta eat this, bourbon creams- they're your favourite". Jackson merely shook his head and continued to stare ahead.

Aaron gave frustrated sigh before whispering, "Jackson... she's looking, just eat this I'm begging yer mate... You're hungry, I know you are, now just... eat it!". Frustrated, Aaron slowly pushed the biscuit into Jackson's mouth, causing parts of the biscuit to merely crumble against Jackson's gritted teeth.

When all of the sudden Jackson-snapped- he opened his mouth and quickly shut it again, bitting down hard on Aaron's hand. Aaron screamed out as blood actually ran down Jackson's chin, "Jackson what the fuck? Let me go- Ow, OW!".

Jackson didn't stop- almost seeming to enjoy the thrill of inflicting pain on another- he didn't care, the unreleasable frustration and angst that had built up in his body for so long, was being released and at this moment he didn't care who he was hurting.

Jackson closed eyes as he felt the blood continued to well up inside his mouth, pouring down hs chin.

Getting over her initial shock at what just taken place, the doctor found something from her bag and -using it as a makeshift wedge- managed to pry Jackson's mouth open, successfully prizing Aaron's hand out of his grip.

Cradling his injured hand, Aaron stared at Jackson, heartbroken... for once Jackson stared back...

He'd love to hold his partner, comfort him and show him how sorry he truly was... but he couldn't 'do' any of those things...

He was never going to escape, he knew that now, always stuck like this... having others living his life for him, numbing the last part of him that actually worked with prozac whenever he didn't smile enough during the day because life became to much for him. His whole life was splayed before him, each day just a mere repeat of the last.

The reality of everything hit him with more force than it ever had done in the past. Without warning, Jackson screamed and continued to do so, repeatedly hitting the back of his head against the soft pillows as frustrated tears ran down his face, he wouldn't stop- he couldn't stop. All three of them watched silently, unknowing of what to do as they watched the guy continue to scream wildly and relentlessly, showing no sign of stopping.

"Jackson...", Hazel tearfully whispered, as she watched her own son mentally deteriorate right in front of her own eyes.

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><p><strong>Wasn't too sure whether to leave this just as a one shot... or to post this at all actually, lol. <strong>

**If anyone wants this to be a twoshot or just wants to flame about this chapter, then plz read and review...**


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